I think I live in a dream world, I believe in soul mates, reincarnation and karma. A lot has changed in my life in the past few weeks and for the first time I have found myself living alone. It is scary and it was unexpected but I am doing it. One day at a time I get up and carry on with my life. My house is constantly tidy so when I finish work, I can just relax because I have no one to pick up after which in theory is nice but it is actually kind of boring. I light my candles, make a cup of tea and then get lost in Manhattan with Carrie Bradshaw or in Stars Hollow with Lorelai Gilmore.
I can spend hours browsing Etsy and Pinterest looking at all things Gilmore & I have come to realise that I now need to focus on finding myself rather than more memorabilia from Luke’s Diner. After spending four years of my life with somebody and having an entire future planned out it feels like I’ve had a rug pulled from beneath me and I’m just left trying to pick myself up again. I am not sure where to start with this and over the past couple of weeks l have been up and down like a yo-yo. I am going to stop focusing on what is lost and start to focus on what can be found. I have two of the loveliest dogs in the world, a job I quite like and some of the most amazing friends in the world. Seriously I don’t know how I’d have got through the past couple of weeks without my girls. Each one of them outdone themselves on dropping any plans, just to make me feel better, I wasn’t left alone for an entire week. Thinking about how good they are literally puts a smile on my face. With girls like this how can I not be happy?
Speaking of happiness, we have just booked New York ❤ Four of us – it is going to be like real life Sex and the City, hanging out in restaurants drinking cosmopolitans at lunch time! I cannot wait. We are going to book an apartment using AirBnB, I have had some fantastic experiences with it and then we will get to live like real New Yorkers. I will be ordering so much Chinese food just in the hope that it will come in one of them boxes like in the movies. This will be my first proper friends holiday, other than a rubbish trip to Benidorm with a few girls I hardly knew when I was 21, I have never really done anything like this. I can count on my hands the amount of girly nights away I have done so this is particularly exciting for me. I’ve just never really bothered before and that is probably because I walk around in a heavily romanticized bubble & I imagine everything with a male partner, somebody to share everything with, my head has always been ruled by boys and that is to change!
I have started reading a little about Hygge – The Danish art of happiness – whenever I read anything about it, it really does cheer me up. I am trying to find the joy in every moment on a daily basis. I am trying to slow down and really take everything in, rather than standing in my kitchen being frustrated the kettle takes too long to boil I now appreciate that I have them 3 minutes to get the perfect amount of coffee and sugar in my cup and that I can leisurely get the milk out of the fridge, we only have one life so why are we rushing to do everything? For that same reason I will not be moping round after a boy, what will be, will be & I will accept whatever life has to throw at me next.